The birthday when I truly started growing up!

A few month ago, I came across this argument between some folks at office that what kind of facilities and funds should a child get as a grows up to make him a good matured human being!

One side of the group said that "I have been brought up in adverse conditions, I could never enjoy the days of my childhood. But now I earn enough to be counted among the higher-middle class (if not the higher class) of society and I can provide my child with whatever he/she demands. Since I could not enjoy such a previlege or liberty I want my child to take full advantage of it". Fair enough, if you blindly love your child.

But then there was this other side of the argument (which includes me) who feel that a perfect middle class upbringing is the best way in which a child can me brought up (or do I call it moulded) into a mature, grown up individual in the true sense of the word! You give your child what is imperative for him (probably the best quality of such necessary things) but for his/her unrealistic demands he/she should be able to take a "No" and more so understand the reason behind it!

If you demand something and you always get it (however unrealistic your demand is), it creates n number of (pretty obvious) problems for you.
1. You dont learn to digest a "no".
2. You turn obstinate, adamant with what you are saying and look at things ONLY from one perspective. You always miss the other side of the coin!
3. You can never learn face failure in life. Even a small failure is enough to shatter you to pieces.
4. MOST SADLY, you develop a tendency to achieve things AT ANY COST!!

And most often someone too close to you ends up paying this cost!

On the other hand, if you have taken a "No" for an unrealistic demand and UNDERSTOOD why you have been denied of what you have requested, you start growing up in the true sense! You begin gaining enough maturity by thinking of what is the COST of what I am demanding! And this is what you primarily require to be a good and BALANCED human being - understand the cost of your own deeds ... ain't it!

I discretely remember an incidence on my 9th Birthday. I was in the 4th standard and in our school we had a tradition that the birthday boy usually distributes some sweets/gifts to his classmates as a memoir of his birthday. Unfortunately that year my birthday fell on a Sunday and I could not do the needful in school on that very day. When I asked my parents, "Can I distribute the sweets tomorrow in my class", they said, "Do you really think you should do it? Your birthday is over today". I took this answer as a "No" and started an argument. Probably after insisting a little, they would have given in to my demands, just when I made a drastic statement!

Those days, since my grandmom could not move out of the house to buy a gift for me, she used to give me some money and say "Tell you mother to get something for you". On seeing that my parents were (kind of) against me distributing sweets in class the next day I said, "If you dont want to give me money from your side, we can use the money given to me by grandmom!" That was it! That is probably the earliest of time when I remember that my parents were mad at me! I was not only prohibitted from distributing sweets that year on my birthday and was not allowed to play with the toys I had received as gifts for a month! That time, I felt offended, deeply offended!

But years later, when I started earning, I now understand what it takes to earn a living! Its not just the money aspect of things, but in general the kind of compromises you have to make just to stand tall - this is something that these little childhood incidences carve in your minds! You truly start understanding the "COST" of living! You start GROWING UP in the true sense!

I am really happy that I have had a really nice upbringing in this sense! I am not claiming that I am perfectly mature or balanced ... but still!